Coming home

My mom used to change the house a lot. When we were kids, my mom would regularly move the furniture around the rooms, trying to see if the house yielded more space than before. It was great fun for us kids. We got to push the chairs and tables around once in a couple of months, and felt very strong. At that time, dad was mostly out of town, posted in towns far from us. Given the travel involved, and the safety issues associated with it, dad would usually visit us once in a fortnight, sometimes a month.
Now that I think of it,  I wonder sometimes how it made dad feel. Coming home to a new home time and time again, at the same address and with the same people in it, but just different in little ways.

When I left home to go to college, we lived in a flat in Baroda, a city we had moved to 2 years ago. I still didn't have a hang of the city, but I was slowly getting a feel of the house. It had a basement that I studied in, a balcony out back with potted plants. And then I moved.
While I was in college, we bought a house in Baroda. The first time I saw it, it was a half constructed house, but the walls already felt of home, and it came associated with a permanent address, something I had never experienced in life.
In a few years the house was finished, we moved in, we made it home. All this while, I was in a bigger city, far far away. Every trip home I would find new additions. A new show piece in the drawing room, a microwave in the kitchen, new sheets that I hadn't seen being bought, and other things small and large that were part of the house.
Last trip, it was a new room. A room with cement walls, large windows, a fancy design. Wall color and furniture choices were the questions most discussed. This will be my room, and hence my choices are important. What should the shelf look like, will there be a low bed, or a study table, where's the best light.

What I couldn't voice , and probably will never be able to, is that I never want all this. I just want to come home and be the little me again, happy with what I painted in drawing class, feeling strong and invincible. That's what coming home should be about.

Let’s learn to Invest

It’s 30^th of July. And I'm repenting why I was so lazy throughout 2013-14 and didn't care to make good investments. And as you can imagine, it takes a fair bit of brain-muscle to find the right investment, and a stronger willpower to save money and ‘invest’ in that right investment.

Why I am writing all this here, you ask!

Ah huh!

You haven't noticed the dots yet.

So I’m also repenting that I now need to rewrite a code that works perfectly alright, makes all the right noises, and generates the numbers that it’s supposed to.

But here’s the ‘Kick’. {No it's not worth a 100 crores either}

If I pass it on to you today, I’m sure you will spend 5 days understanding it, and then spend the weekend cursing me over a bottle of water. And you will come back on Monday and the code will not make any sense whatsoever anyway.

Here! Look! That’s the second dot for you.

2 dots are good enough to draw a straight line, and hence, draw conclusions. But let me give you a third dot to make life a little bit easier.

Next month, there’s going to be an inspection, the type we call ‘Quality & Compliance’. They are going to be reviewing everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything.

They will look at your desk [Is there confidential stuff lying around?]

They will look below your keyboard [You are writing all your passwords on a sticky and sticking it under the keyboard aren't you?]

They will look into your system’s history [No skeletons in that closet I hope!]

They will look at your documentation [dot the i’s and cross the t’s my lad]

And they will look at your code, its input, its output, its log, and anything else they can find.

Based on the above scenarios, I think you should clean up the code a bit. Add a few comments to describe the various sections in the code. Oh wait! Sections! Hmm! I didn't exactly write the code in sections. There was a lot of trial and error and copy and paste. Maybe you should start there. Organize the code into sections first. What? You can't pull them apart? Why? Oh, they are written that way you say? Fine by me, the audit is all yours then. Oh don't be scared boy. Maybe!!!!! Yes, right, that’s a good Idea. Spend the weekend here in office, and write the whole thing from scratch. Make sure you build it in sections, demarcate them by writing comments, add defensive codes, handle exceptions, and while you are at it, teach it to make a good filter coffee as well.

There, I said it. There’s your third dot.

Do I make any sense now?

Not yet?

Go wash your face, get some coffee, and come back to class by 11.15.

We will then go over how you should think, plan and then write programs. Got it?

“Invest time upfront, rather than jumping off the cliff and hoping you grow wings”

–Justmade Itup

Investments are subject to risks. Please store the pig in a safe place after investing.

Summer days of Yore

Summers, especially if you are a kid in India, should hold so much of your memories as it does. Its the hottest time of the year, and for many parts of the country, its just basically the same as the rest [My brother in Chennai would agree]. And yet, these months that come after the winter chill has vanished, and before the monsoon decides to wash away this land, somehow, manages to hold each of our imagination. It plants itself in our memories forever, refusing to let go. And I guess this time, the heat has got to my head. I can't see any other reason why I would decide to write this post. Except this post that brought back old memories..

*** I think this is going to be a long post. Leave now, or grab your glass of chhass, sit back, and enjoy ***

Summers, according to me, can be classified in many ways, some of which I display below. 150 possible combinations I see.

Classifying Summer

Now, of course I mention these because I have lived through all these. And until I made this table, it never struck me how versatile life has been.

Lunch @ 5

The lunch was always a quick affair,

Tucked between returning from school

And leaving for the tuition on the pretty little bike.

The tiffin at school was heavier,

The evening snack, healthier, familiar.

The lunch, the ignored meal of the day.

With our feet running the rat race,

The laptop bag digging into the shoulder,

There are no more mid-day tiffins.

Mother no longer serves the evening snack,

Or maybe she does, and I'm no longer home.

Fighting off competition, and my own demons.

Breakfasts are now hurried,

Dinners gobbled up at midnight,

And Lunch, it's now @ 5.

Disclaimer:

Poem nahi hai khaas to hate to mat karo yaar,

Abki bar....... Dhurrrr Burbak!

[UNTITLED]

I was right here,

Loved, even revered.

Just the other day,

I could hear her sing, see them laugh.

I would read,

read the clouds in the sky outside.

The window,

my window to the world,

the voices outside,

the cars, the buses, the squealing of the horn,

outside.

I was here too, you know,

correcting papers,

laughing, being merry.

The kids, I loved.

For my parents, I lived.

My love,

He was far away.

Yet, always close.

Love was the drug,

and now it's the poison.

I see them all outside,

with my closed eyes.

I can feel the winds changing,

the girls getting ready,

in their yellow saris.

The time to celebrate is soon,

and celebrate they will.

My absence,

forgotten soon.

But the marks will remain,

always, forever.

I am here today,

looking, not seeing.

I look with vacant eyes.

The love I see,

the sorrow washes over me.

I am here, I am now.

Tomorrow, I will be gone.

Gone forever, from their sight.

Maybe not, from their mind.

I will be loved, even revered,

right here, forever.

Towards the light....

Royal Notes - My thoughts about Queen.

The midnight Phone Call.. Tring Tring....

The incessant ringing of the landline woke up the mother in the dead of the night. The daughter at the other end of the ISD call asked her, "hing ko english me kya kehte hai?". The Rajouri street dogs outside kept barking away to glory. Probably they knew the answer. 

This was one of those slice-of-life moments that you get to experience with Queen, or Rani from Rajouri, India. Many more light scenes like these will keep you either laughing out loud, or smiling that slight smiling remembering the time when you did something similar.

The story of Rani takes us from the very real life of Delhi, with its numbu-pani and aloo-pakode stalls, to the bustling streets of Paris (Parieiiieeieiieieieiie ..... if you want to  say it like one of the Parisians ), all the way to Amsterdam, with its boats, booze and b**bs, and then back to Delhi where she finally finds her freedom.

A beautiful film all the way through, Queen can boast of a fantastic soundtrack by Amit Trivedi who continues to mesmerize with his music, and this time even decided to sing some. Of course some songs took me back to Udaan. Listen to the full songs on youtube, and let me get you started here. The camera work and edits are crisp, though during a few scenes I would have liked a little more clarity of what was going on. The scene when the friends leave a piece of their soul on the Backpacker's Hostel wall would be one such. Though we can guess that Rani puts her wedding invite on the wall, I personally would have liked to see it more clearly. But that's how the Director wants to push this film through I guess, sometimes in your face, and sometimes very subtle. For more reviews and spoilers, there are too many websites out there. Go look them up on the internet, or as its called in today's tongue, Google them! I have just 3 things to say.

1. Kangana proves her mettle with this role. As expected in all her films, she has the booze on her side, but just for a few minutes thankfully. She is raw & vulnerable as always, but also has those moments when her inner strength boils up to the surface, resulting in a scene soon when we see he smiling. And man, that's a pretty face. Hoping, just hoping, that Queen is a beginning of a journey, and not just a blimp in the talent Radar that fades within a moment.
2. Olexander, or Sikandar, well I hope both of you don't show up in a sequel. Bollywood and Sequels don't make good bed-buddies.
3. Rajkumar Yadav/Rao - Boss, you nailed it. The bursts of english, the sense of achievement and ownership, and the sense of helplessness of failing to find your missing bride, well, as I said, you nailed it, Bro.

Go watch it if you haven't yet. What are you, living under a rock?

Don't know where and how? Here, Einstein! This should be helpful.

And remember the biggest lesson from the film. Save for your honeymoon, starting now. Only then can you afford a fancy one. Unless you are smart and marry someone overflowing with cash.

These were not the people you just read about!  These are some Hyppie type firangs :)

Postscripts: 

1. I have been getting fleeting glimpses in my head about another film, somehow related to this one. And finally it surfaced. Mahanagar, a 1963 Bengali film by Satyajit Ray, had a female protagonist with a similar steely determination.

2. The songs. These 2 have intertwined in my head somehow. 

From Queen:

From Udaan:

Oh My Word!

My Wordle

Created using http://www.wordle.net/

The Ship - filled with meaning!

"Sugababes, one of the most successful all-female British bands of the 21st century, were formed in 1998. But one by one they left, till by September 2009 none of the founders remained in the band; each had been replaced by another member, just like the planks of Theseus’s boat."
- Sam Jacob, Writing for ArtReview [source-Wikipedia]

This film, with 3 protagonists going about their lives in search of meaning, starts of on a idea which is a philosophical question version of the above paragraph. Filmed in a languid pace, sometimes focusing on blank landscapes, the imagery itself evokes a sense of peace, and of purpose.
Sample this:
-"A group of jain monks are seen walking through a landscape filled with windmills, the turning fans and their shadows reminding us of how time flies by. There are no sentences spoken here. We know one of the monks is ailing, maybe walking towards his own death. And the shadows of the Kal-chakra pass over his head."
-"The sound of wind, a birds-eye view of a grassland, ruffled by the blowing wind. No characters in sight"
-"A valley. somewhere in the himalayas, a mountain stream gurgling through, a wooden bridge"

The actors perform their parts marvelously. The monk, transforming from a lean, yet healthy man - to a man on his deathbed, fasting, ridden with bedsores, and yet a steely determination in his eyes. The young stock-market player, with his empathizing selflessness. A admirable bewilderment and joy from the photographer who regains her vision. A supporting cast who fit into the puzzle marvelously. The banter between the monk and the lawyer, in the second story, bewildering, logical, funny. The daily laborer, once shell-shocked from the loss of his Kidney, and at the other time, joyous from a future filled with hope. The lovely fight in the kitchen about creativity, and our own vision of it.

The circumstances under which the paths of the protagonists cross is believable, and seems like an organic growth of the complete film.
Life of Pi left me with a lot of questions. Even now it creates discussions in our group of friends. It was splendidly made. This film, maybe doesn't spellbind you with magical effect. But it does so with its completeness of though.
Slow, and yet crisp, a must watch "Ship of Theseus".

Glad I watched in on the big screen.

My first Girlfriend

She sat there, next to the window, admiring her shiny red nail.

I looked on.

She gazed outside, at the passing headlights.

I stared.

She started searching for something in her handbag.

I was inquisitive.

There was a small click.

And I heard the sound. Faint, only in my left ear.  But still it was clear, over the din of the bus, rumbling through the state highways of North Bengal.

SP Balasubramanyam sang “Tum Se Milne Ki Tamanna Hai” in my left ear, and I thought ‘I have met her already’.

She looked at me and smiled. “Enjoying?”

“Yes”, I said. “I will ask dad to get me one too”.

“Yes, you should buy a Walkman, and also buy some nice cassettes. Buy Saajan, its superhit. That guy, Sanjay Dutt, he limps in the film, but he is the real hero. And Madhuri can dance so well….” She went on telling me the virtues of the superhit film from last year, and I dozed off. (Well, this habit of dozing off mid conversation will come back to hound me throughout my grownup days)

I dreamt of telling my classmates not to tease me anymore, or I’ll call my girlfriend, who had promised me to use her long nails to help me in my fight. “For Justice, For Honor, For the last starfruit/guava on the tree”…

I found out from an acquaintance almost a decade later that she had passed on to a better world, after a bout of a strange fever, at the early age of 20. That’s around the time I was close to 7-8 years old. 

My first girlfriend.

Paan Singh Tomar - A Review

Just came home after watching this movie.

Yes, it is great.
The director kind of continues from where must have left of during his days on the 'Bandit Queen' crew. The vistas of Chambal ki ghati come out very similar to how it showed up in the older film.
Irrfan again packs a punch in his portrayal of a common man, though in this case, this common man is not just anybody of the street.
A son of chambal, a military man, who joins the military sports team just because there is no limit on the food ration for 'sports people'. He's not scared to say the right thing, and actually snubs his superiors calling them good-for-nothing. Punished and sent to the Military Physical Training facility, he gives up his pet event, the 5000 mts race 2 months before a Defense sports meet, because he empathizes with his coach. He takes up Steeplechase instead, a event he had never heard of before in his life. And wins the event in the 13th National Games, setting a national record. Cut to the Asian games, where he is handed spikes moments before the event, that he takes off halfway through his first lap, and eventually loses the race. His heroics though win him adulation and fans, one of whom even gets their picture taken. When he is not allowed to join his batallion during the 65 war, he tell his superior 'take away all my awards and let me go to war', such is his dedication to protecting the nation, his Dharti Maa. He convers this rage to efforts, and wins the gold in the International Defense Sports meet, competing with kids half his age. But this is just as long as the good times go.
A family feud for (what else but) land makes him quit his Military job, and return to become a agriculturalist in his village. But life in the Bihaarr is not peaceful, as  the family feud takes ugly turns, and after pleading help from the District Collector and the cops, and see his crops cut up, his son beaten up, and his mother eaten to death, Subedaar Paan Singh decides to take up the gun. As he reminds us many a times in the movie, "Bihaarr me sirf Baagi hote hai" and "Baagi koi khud se nahi banta". He builds a gang, mostly members of his own extended family, raises money by kidnapping, trains his crew, and kills his enemies. Emotions run high in many of the scenes, and it is in these scenes, like the once in which Paan Singh kills his elder cousin, that we see the tormented man he has become. As the movie ended it left me with a lot of thoughts.
When does one cross the line between sanity and insanity? Something that a person wouldn't even imagine ever in his life suddenly becomes his choice for way of life.
How a person goes from not caring a bit about a sport to a world class sportsman to a gun carrying bandit, hiding the angst of never fighting for his country and the bitterness of leaving a sport behind that gave him a name.
What's right? What's wrong? Who defines? Do the decisions stand the test of time?

But I digress.

The film is brilliant in its making. There are small details that are taken care of. The usage of music is great. And the dialogues, wow the dialogues. "Beehad mein to baaghi rehte hain, Parliament mein daaku."

Go watch this film to see a meaningful hindi film in a long time.

Art-y Times

Last few month of 2011 have been, well, very Artistic!

No! No! No! I didn't display my creativity and torture people. (Did take some pretty cool shots though! And got praised by a lot of people too! CHEERS..)

- The Hindu Metroplus Theater Fest 2011
        - The Interview -
        After Kiran Madam left, didn't go for any plays. This was the first. Thanks to Abhishek for the company.
And what a story.
The story of a fresher being interviewed by a part-eccentric part-innocent rotund balding boss, who's sleeping with his sexy Assistant on the side, and by another employee who sees himself as the next to ascend the throne.
Starts with a lot of funnies, but as we end the performance, the darkness from the corporate corridors suddenly looms larger, and scarier.
But most of all, the contrast of the first and the last scene, left me spellbound.

- Quadir Ali Baig Theater Fest
        - Adhe Adhure -
        Disturbing, very disturbing. Lilette Dubey, Mohan Agashe and the rest of the cast play a family in the 60s, struggling through the joblessness of the father and the son, a runaway elder daughter, and a misbehaving school-going daughter.
        From time to time, you feel like you understand the characters, and just when you are about to close their file, there's a new chapter that emerges. You feel sympathetic towards the struggling mother for some time, and then suddenly she transforms. As the shock of the transformation subsided, I was left with a nagging question.
"Is it unfair, for a mother of 3, to seek some comfort, some solace, some independence, from the life she creates for herself and her family, over a couple of decades? Will it be wrong if she flies off, leaving everything behind, to have a better life?"
Commendable performances by the cast, especially Dr.Agashe in a multitude of characters portrayed with brilliance.

        - Noti Binodini -
        Beautiful use of screens, lights, projections and music, along with multiple actresses playing the same character - made this a memorable performance.
The sometimes-painful story of one of India's foremost professional actresses from the theater world in early 1900s, based on her autobiography, was performed by a talented cast in front of a spellbound audience. The standout moments of the performance were the transformations/transfer of Binodini's character to the various actresses, pulled off with precision between astonishing lighting, music and set-changes with an ease that only comes accompanied with talent.

- Hyderabad Children Theater Fest
        - A special Bond -
        Based on short stories by Ruskin bond, a fun story about a small child sent to holiday in the seclusion and quiet life of the mountains, only to find out it's not that secluded, nor is it very quiet. Railway tunnel guard, Leopard, Monkey, Ghost, genial grandad, New crazy-ass friends, Gardener, Aunt, her friend, and the husband. Filled with wacky interesting characters that made the duration of the play look too small.

- The Hindu November Fest
        - Zeb and Haniya -
        Breathtaking songs in languages I don't know. They enjoyed the singing, and the crowd had loads of fans, someone wanted to take the flutist home with her. The melodies, fusing world music with sufi tunes, and some very strong messages left us all wanting more.

        - Adrishta -
        Fusing Carnatic with Hindustani, and fusing instrumental sounds from both genres, creating magic. Heard some new instruments and fell in love all over again with classical music.

        - Remembering Panchamda -
        A decent concert, covering a truckload of Pancham-Hits. But the most I  liked was the instru--mental medley, the crazy chanting for the bassist, and when the singers did their own unplugged interpretations of some tracks(not something the purists liked a lot, but hey, Pancham wasn't a purist, was he?)

- The Times Fest
        - Indian Ocean Live -
        Any description needed for the music?
Made even more special by the open air venue, closeness of the stage, rough-stone-cut stage, and presense of by sweet brother with me. The pics taken at this concert put me in touch with one member of the band, so hopefully next time around, i get to take some closer shots :-)

- Zakir Hussain Live
          At Choumahala Palace, tucked away inside a non-descriptive doorway near Charminar. Beautiful ambiance, lights, and evening. The opening was a little too much to handle (went on for too long, had loooooooooooong tracks to play), but they were a good bunch of performers.  But all was forgotten and forgiven when the master came on stage. Now I know why he's so famous. Not oonly does he play the Tabla like magic, he has an attitude. Funny, Familiar, and yet Tough. Waiting for my refill during the Shakti concert now.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Office Events and Photography

- Photography class and Photowalk
   Saurabh and Mahesh taught us some nuances about photography, and then took us out for a morning shoot. great experience.

- Independence Day Celebration
   My first official office shoot. Well, didn't go that well. Pics came out bad. But then, that's how we learn.

- Documentary and Talk on CONSERVATION by Bikram Grewal

- Jhankaar 2011
   Second time shooting in the office, great moments, great performances, and if I may say so myself, great pics. People loved them.
I did too. :-)

- End Year Party 2011
  Dance Dance, Click Click, Fun Fun. :-)

- Family Day 2011
   The last fun filled time of the year at work, all colleagues, with their families, showing off the office. Some clicks. Was loads of fun.

- Glimpses of Suburbia
   My new project. Lets see how it pans out.

2012 awaits.